Remembering Dad book

I got a bit fixated on making a book in time for the funeral. It was supposed to be eight pages, so I went to Spotlight to get some smaller O-rings and a Space Bar which are designed to bind smaller books with the Zutter bind-it-all. No one was surprised when I emerged on the day of the funeral with a 50 page book!

I'd stayed up til 4.45 am printing pages and binding it all together. I'd somehow imagined I'd even make four copies, one for everyone else attending, and that it would all be done in two hours. Where do I get these crazy ideas and what drives me to keep going? Well, I felt the need to document all my thoughts about the fortnight leading up to Dad's passing as well as more general memories, so that is done now. Relief. And the material is all organised and printed reading for binding so I can make the other copies in my own time.

I found images of his favourite music on Google images (above);

I included messages received by SMS and email (above), as well as my own eulogy at the funeral, and some of his - and my - favorite quotes. I'll also include the notes from Ian, my sister

and her husband.

I included one sample of Dad's handwriting, from an old letter that I'd recently rediscovered in one of Grandma's holiday scrapbooks (above);

I scanned in the beautiful portrait painted by my talented cousin Noni Clarke, (with only a portion of the portrait showing);

I included scans from his favourite book of poetry, above and his beloved Scottish ancestry below;

As mentioned a few weeks ago, I finished a little album about Dad's childhood and early adult years and made a slideshow of photos to go with it. Even though he wasn't terribly interested, he knew I made them to remember him, and it was the closest we came to having a conversation about how we felt. So I'm as satisfied as I'm ever going to be. I wrote a few pages of memories and anecdotes from my childhood which I'll use in Part two of the album, which will focus on my relationship with dad. Part three will focus on his relationship with the babies, and there are many lovely photos, which I am really grateful for. These will each be housed in their own little album.

Farewell Dad

My dear Dad passed away just over a week ago so my little world ground to a halt. Even though he'd been very unwell with cancer for a couple of years, two days before he passed the doctors thought it would be weeks. So in a way it was all a bit sudden as I thought there'd be months left. So of course I spent a lot of time thinking about the day before I saw him and how it should have gone. But that day I do remember greeting him properly, grabbing his chin and giving him a really big kiss. I took Tasmin along and she was pretty good that day. His wish had been to see the babies as much as possible and I scheduled my days around the hospital visits. It's always difficult taking toddlers to the hospital.

The call came at 2.30am on Thursday 15th October and it was an emotional journey that day as I, my sister and her new husband sat by his bedside, holding his hand, reminiscing about the past and recalling his favourite jokes. It was wonderful to hear him chortle and laugh a few times even though he was in a light coma by then.

All in all, it was a peaceful passing and I was very grateful to be there with Dad holding his hand.

The funeral was on Wednesday and attended by me, Ian, my sister and her husband and Mum. My in-laws very kindly stepped in to mind the babies back at our house. It was an amazing and very simple service, with just the five of us looking out at the beautiful water garden atrium, cradled by a beautiful blue, almost cloudless, sky. We all spoke, and laughed, and cried, and all wore colour. Afterwards we went out into the gardens for a picnic. It didn't feel strange at all. I felt compelled to take pictures of the roses as they felt like his roses: they would look different the next day, and the day after that, and these will be a reminder of the beauty of infinite life.